Hello

Life throws such incredible curves at you.  One minute you are faced one way, the next you have suddenly turned a 180!  This knowledge is no big surprise, quite the ordinary...but to me, it is a new sensation.  For the most part of my life my road has been strait.  I saw where I wanted to go, and I went.  No big deal.  My life consisted of a strait track and I could see what was ahead of me.  But now...now I find at this point of my life, a road of many winds and bends...different directions, split paths pulling me one way or another.  I have never felt this way before...and the feelings of fear, worry, and a sense of becoming lost in it all is becoming more and more overbearing.  There are still a few things that have remained straight for me, and to those I hold as my anchor; my faith, unwavering (though not perfect), my life’s goal to become an art teacher (though many new obstacles have jumped onto my path), and my good friends, those who have not, and I know, will not desert me.  To these strait paths I am truly thankful, and dependant.  However I become so afraid...that perhaps I may accidentally stroll down the wrong path...follow what looks like something good, and end up somewhere destructive or perhaps a dead-end...The only thing is that on windy roads you can not see what is coming before you, or who you will meet for that matter (which in its own turn could be a wonderful thing) I guess it is this whole uncertainty that makes me afraid to continue down the path, or rather paths, of life.  I enjoy the times where I can simply spend time with my friends, though not completely care free, but for that moment at peace.

          However, there are many other sensations on this new idea of life.  There are the feelings of excitement that comes along with uncertainty, and the feeling of wonder when things come along that one does not expect.  I have begun to truly appreciate the little things and joys that I find along the roadside.  The friends that I meet, old ones I rediscover, and the new ones who fill my life with surprise and happiness.  Life’s simple pleasures should never ever go unnoticed, and I am sorry that I hadn’t been able to view them in the grateful light I should have. 

          So there it is, my life has now become shifting paths, and I must follow, eager to see what is at the end, fearful yet excited about what I may find on the way.  Trusting in God that whatever may happen would be apart of his plan and that He may use me for good. 

I looked up outside tonight, and viewed a beautiful full moon quickly, but smoothly, running between the clouds that quilted the sky. The world seemed so huge and so bright at this 9:30 hour.  The heavens seemed so vast! I opened my eyes as large as I could, straining my lids so as that I could see all that was possible, yet I could not see all of it, not at the same time.  It was hardly dark out, so bright was the sky.  The streetlights were on, but it was truly the moon that gave off the brightest light tonight.  Some stars peeked out from gaps in the blanket of clouds; friendly and almost seemed to be laughing with the same joy that was in my heart.  I lost my breath.  My mouth was open, and my thoughts were towards my creator, and how thankful I was that he was so astonishing.  I have not felt that wonderful, amazing feeling of awe, and beauty for a long time.  It dawned on me this night, how huge the world is.  How big the sky is, and how small we are.  I realized how small our lives are and how big the world is.  Then I realized how small our planet is, and how huge our solar system it.  Then it hit me how small our solar system is and how enormous the galaxy is, and so on and so forth until I could go no further than space, and beyond…

        Who can describe it in any words?  Infinity?  Can we grasp it? Can we understand it?  Our minds are so accustomed to a beginning and an end that I can not comprehend something that has neither.  How great is our God?  He has no beginning or end.  His love is like the night sky, so large and beautiful, and always with us.  We see it day and night, and think nothing of it, until we have one of those moments when we look up and realize, with such awe, how huge it really is.  It is indefinite.  Never ceasing.  The sun may go down, but the sky is still there.  Our lives may be going wrong, but His love is still there.  All we have to do is look up. 

Well, look at this! It seems that Jeanna has finally got a Xanga Site!! Wow! Amazing!  Heehee ...hmmm, what to write?  First of all I hope that everybody had a great Thanksgiving, I know I did!! I have so much to be thankful for!!! God ROCKS!!  He has been working in my life so much lately.  It is awesome!  He has been drawing me closer to him, and I have been growing more now than I have been in the past three or four years!!  I am currently a freshman at Fresno Pacific University.  I love it there.  The people are awesome!!  I have met so many amazing people, especially this one guy, Scott, he is now my boyfriend, and has been for about a month and three weeks now.  We are seeking God together and want to start a ministry on our campus.   I care about him, and am truly blessed to know him, and it amazes me that he could care for me the way he does.  I do not know Godfs purpose for us, but I am truly grateful for the time we have shared, and will share.

I plan to be an Art Professor.  I am going into liberal studies, and hopefully, maybe someday I will be able to teach at either a High School or College.  I long to teach, not only because I love art so much, but because I want to give the students a chance to know God.  I want to be there for my students as a guide in their spiritual walk, to have someone to talk to, and someone there to help them through their hardest times in life. 

I am thankful that God is in my life.  That I have Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior!! I do not know where I would be now if I didnft know Him.  He is my rock, and my salvation, my strength when I am weak, my light in the darkness. 

To those reading this, I ask for your prayers, not for me, but for a friend of mine.  He is going through a difficult time, and I am afraid for him.  He is a wonderful friend and I love him so much.  Thank you.

          Praise be to God!  For He is good.  He is the Lord of all, the Maker of heaven and earth!!!